The thing is that, I’d like to do something spectacular in life. I’d like to do something amazing and I plan too.
Except I get caught up in the present.
I get caught up in my life, in my head, in my world.
And it’s one of the sucky things about life. What’s going to atter later in life or in the long run doesn’t weigh on you in the present as much.
But the fact is, today is just tomorrow in disguise.
And I get caught up, I lose myself in tv shows and I lose my self in the stuff I have to do and I loose myself in the silly things and sad things and just surviving.
To be honest, I’m still learning how to survive. I’m still learning to come to terms with doing stuff with my life. And I’m failing too. I do all my assignments last minute and I don’t even do the things I’d like to do in the time I don’t do my assignments.
So as for becoming who my goal is to be, I have no idea what that is. I’m in-between and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it.
And then there’s my head.
My head, well, is indescribable. It’s a weird mess of all things. I can’t sort myself out. I’ve too much in my head. And I get distracted too fast. I need to be reminded of to breathe and in all that I forget what I’d really like to do. And further down that road, I’d like to do too many things. So I’m fucked.
And in this moment, this line from Lost Stars speaks to me,
Tell us the reason, youth is wasted on the young.”
It’s like a sick joke. Because I spend so much time on insignificant things. And yet I’m full of potential. And I’m in this place where I’ve got few boundaries. This is prime time. Yet.
I’m always trying to be who I want to be.
But I’m caught up.
In the present.
In the distractions.
And my head is a disaster.
And I’m a mess.
Is there all that is it?