perception.

because when i see my flesh and bones under the skin that covers
i see deformed figures that are monsters that call me out in front of the mirror
and i carry these tirade of thoughts on my sleeve
but i always made sure my tee shirts have full sleeves

when you said i compared us
i felt conflicted
because i wasn’t thinking about us i was thinking about me
darling please believe me
because i’m caged.

i’m caged in these walls that are my brain
and when i see i see with my eyes
and my ribs crush and squeeze my organs out
into a stream of disgust that stains my sight

and i’m sick.
i’m sick and i wish myself away
but two fingers down my throat only block my view
till the water splashes my face and i’m left looking at you

so forgive me, for i can’t see what you see
i’m clouded by my cataracts
and it consumes me
but do

oh please, do
tell me what you see
together we can outline your features and fill in them with magic swirls that little girls dream of
and we can line your intestines with bits of brain and squeeze out every trinket of waste
and when we get to your eyes you can add mine
because i’d be better off without them anyway,

because on me they can see only 120
and on you they can see so much more
and together we can take turns and ward off all the intruders
and inside we can create a safe haven
where we measure in smiles and the twinkles in our eyes
and spend nights huddled under blankets and fictional places
and

and maybe
maybe we’ll see more than our eyes can show
maybe we’ll break the wall that cages our brain
maybe we’ll set free the butterflies that our hearts have sealed
and we’ll see
so
much more.

-am terribly sorry about the letters and commas
-i intended for this to be about else but look where it took me
-i don’t know how i feel about it
-especially the end (suggestions?)
–the visual field of the human eye spans approximately 120 degrees of arc

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2 comments

  1. ravenandbeez · March 27, 2016

    AWW! You made me cry because it reminded me of Feb 1. I love it btw

    Like

    • beezuz · March 27, 2016

      That is literally what it is about.

      Like

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