The quote challenge – Day 1

I nominated myself from my other blog that was nominated, www.ravenandbeez.wordpress.com.

So, yay!

Rules:

  1. Post for three consecutive days
  2.  You can pick three quotes per day
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day

#1

“I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.”
Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

#2

“I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.”
Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

#3

“We are all bat people.”
Hank Green

And i nominate- you!

Peace!

Day #3. My mother hates…

…that I’m so slow.

I take 5 x time a normal person takes to do stuff and 10 x time my mother takes to do stuff.

Seriously, it’s like i have reduced cognitive ability (or something like that). Or I’m just too immersed in thinking. Yeah probably that.

I kinda love that i’m so slow….

#weirdandproud?

Day #2. Beverages and weird me

I have a lot of (weird) feelings about beverages. But weird is good yeah?

Water: Do you think you drink too much water? I drink more than you (all of you). I estimate i drink twice the required amount. I’m not really concerned about the health quota, i just love water and i need it. I can also taste water (?) and i drink only in MY (voss) bottle(s) (i have 2). When i haven’t drank water in a while, i physically react because brain.

Lemon water. I can dig that.

Milk: Mmmmmnnmm. Milk is the best (with a little bit of cereal). Has got to be whole milk, full fresh, full fat, full cream etc. I can see, smell, taste, sense and even feel the difference between my milk and other. I have tons of milk daily.

Hot Coffee: Bleurgghh. Nope. Sometimes it smells good though.

Cold coffee: I’m talking frappuccino [i once went to Cafe coffee day in India and asked them for a Frappuccino- tip: it’s called Caffe Frappe].
I do enjoy these in moderate amounts very rarely (honestly, BR’s ice cream smoohie trumps all].

Mango Berry shake from BR: Marry me.

Hot chocolate or cold chocolate: Yuck no. Head ache incoming, nausea and vomiting follows. (No, i never liked it as a kid either, am i all alone in this world?)

Tea: Nope. Except.. for MY tea, which is all milk, some sugar and a tiny bit of the tea thing (powder). Nobody really counts that as milk.
Oh and also green tea but made with my specifications.

Bubble tea: Meh but nope.

[Kinda picky.]

Kheer (Indian sweet dish with milk): Only a very few ones (most are mums).

Popular sodas: Yeah. Not all of them i like very much but yeah.

Plain soda: Plain no.
Perrier is delish tho (rich kid here, just kidding).

Bickford’s Old style Cream soda and original Kola: COme to mama.

Smoothies and milkshakes: Will-bathe-in-them.

Avocado milkshake: Home.

Sugar-y bottles juices: Mostly no. Berry juice is an exception. And Red Orange Raspberry.

Fresh juice: YAS.

Mojito and what-not (non alcoholic): Yes please.

Alcohol: I don’t know about you, but i do not like the taste nor the feeling (lightweight and terrified of vomiting too)

So there’s that. I’m utterly picky but love my beverages. I’m also very self absorbed (you probably got that with all the MY drinks). Tell me what you like and not like and tell me you agree with me.

Day #1. My blog name

In a hologram.

Why?

Answer 1: It’s a line in one of my favorite Lorde song, (Buzzcut season).

Answer 2: I live my life in my head. My head is a strange place. It’s crazy, wondrous and psychotic. What i see in life, i live in my head.
When i look at life, i feel unconnected with the people but connected with other things.
In my head, my world is synonymous to a hologram.
When you come into my life, you come into my hologram.
And that’s how i live,
in a hologram
with you.

–a challenge of sorts?
–say hello
–i belong to no city, i belong to no man
–i’m a hurricane

What my eating disorder is – to me

To me, right now, it’s evaluating my food – bad food and good food and living with those decisions and thoughts.
To me, it is thinking about that brownie I’ve been wanting to make for months and thinking it’s healthy too, gluten free even, but not making it because I am afraid I’ll binge and proteins are still calories if not worked off.
To me, it is not looking in the mirror while changing clothes, because seeing what I see and hating myself for it, is not a good feeling really.
To me, it is wearing the clothes that hide me and my body – so as not to see what I am and then despising myself for it
To me, it is screaming, in my head, at the people with the bodies I’d like, they don’t know what it’s like in me.
To me, it is sitting in a chicken pose or kneeling in front of my desk – because sitting is bad and then feeling bad for sitting anyway.
To me, it is feeling bad for all those bites of pita bread with humus and big bowl of full fresh, full fat, full cream milk I vowed I would never let it touch.
To me, it is despising myself for hiding under those baggy pants all those days to avoid feeling miserable, when I see myself in those tight fitted jeans I really didn’t want to put on.
To me, it is seeing my bones, and hating them, and never wanting to look at them, to crying about them, because I never wanted it to get to me this way and because I don’t see what I see in them.
To me, it is that voice at the back of my head, which is the key to that Pandora’s box I keep locked, threatening to bury me in bad feelings, engulfing me with bad thoughts.
To me, it is thinking food bad, to refusing rice and taking cookies from friends and then yelling at myself, no it is not an exception.
To me, it is what I think of my body and what I think of what I put in it and my validation.
To me, it is asking, what reason do I have, to eat, this food, I’m probably just thirsty, I should have my tablets, your money is not yours, those fries are deep fried.
To me, it is not seeing myself the way others do, and to turning other peoples comments into standards and defenses.
To me, it is hating myself for it, for all of it, because I know better, because fuck the media, but not being able to let go, ever.
To me, it is feeling bad about my self, even though I know, oh I know, I am not my body.
To me, it is that voice, I’m afraid to let speak because it’s so loud, I’m too scared of it.
To me, it is wanting people to see it, but keeping it looked up under layers of armor because it could break me.
To me, it is, the thoughts, the thoughts, the thoughts, and how they’re always there, every where.
To me, it is thinking about it, in every thing I do, in the simplest things and about the rules and feeling bad.
To me, it is avoidance, till the regret, and to it coming back all again, till I settle back.
To Me, it is being afraid, of my own mind.

–slam poetry maybe?
–being human in this world comes with suck-y stuff don’t it?

my stars.

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my stars
are
my pieces
scattered
across my universe
and yet

my stars
are there
to remind
me
that there’s more
to the universe
than
my stars.

–from of my favorite parts from One by Sarah Crossan sort of relayed this.
Here’s to star tattoos in the future!